Cid's WallyWorld
by Kayin
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if our favorite characters from FF8 worked at a WalMart? If you have, READ THIS! And even if you havn't, READ THIS!
1. Default Chapter

Author's Notes: Hey all, here's my first FF8 fanfic, and I must say I am quite proud of myself in this fiction. It's staring the usual cast as they all work at... WAL-MART! This is based on my job as a cashier at a Wal- Mart, and let me tell you, alot of the things you read in this fic actually happen. People are strange... ANYWAY, it's a one shot deal, so don't expect any more, but reviews will be gracious! *hint hint* Hope you like it! Oh, and all the things inbetween the ... will be Squall's thoughts, just so you know. ^^  
  
Cid's Wally-World  
(Welcome to Balamb City's local Wal-Mart! Where the shelves are always packed, the employees have attitudes, and the costumers are all but nice. It's open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! So stop on by!)  
  
****  
  
It was 6 o'clock in the morning, the night shift at his work was just about over, so Squall needed to get to the Wal-Mart as quickly as possible. He worked the day shift, and hated it very much. He, on several occations, requested the night shift, and for one reason only, LESS PEOPLE. Squall is not much of a "People Person", he hated tending to costumers, and only did so to keep his horrible job. His apartment in Balamb isn't cheep, and he liked it very much, it was roomy and drafty, just the way he liked things. It even had a balcony! But that cost him about $100 more dollars a month. No matter how hard he begged Head Manager Cid, he just couldn't get the night shift. Cid had said something like it would "build his character" to have to deal with people.  
  
I don't care about my character... All I want to do is just make enough money to survive... He thought. He pulled into the parking lot, parking in his usual spot, the very far corner. He stepped out of his black car and stripped off his black leather coat with fuzzy stuff on the collar and threw it in the back seat, while grabbing his blue Wal-Mart vest, then closing the door. He sighed, Here's to another long ass day with mean as hell costumers. He cheered to himself putting on his vest, it seemed like putting on that horrid blue piece of cloth was like strapping on a ball and chain willingly. Running his hand through his unrully brown hair he headed to the store. Only to be met by someone he wished he hadn't.  
  
"Hey Squall! Good mornin'!" Called a blonde man pushing a GIANT line of carts. He waved to Squall, and almost lost control of his herd. "Hey could you give me a hand here?" He asked hopefully.  
  
Squall looked at Zell, and closed his blue eyes. Zell what a bafoon.  
  
"Hey man are you gonna help me or what?!" Zell asked again.  
  
Opening his eyes he saw Zell being pushed backwards by the line of carts. He smirked alittle. "No. I'm going to be late." He answered and walked into the Wal-Mart. Once inside he could hear Zell screaming for someone to help him, then a very loud crash. His smirk grew wider when he heard Selphie's voice yell at Zell.  
  
"What did I tell you about trying to take so many carts at ONCE?!?!"  
  
Squall headed for the back of the store. Once there, he grabbed his punch card that had his name, Squall Leonhart, on it and ran it though the little machine. It beeped to let Squall know it acknowledged him. Here we go. He headed for the front of the store again.  
  
Even though he had been working in the Wal-Mart for a good year now, he still was positioned as a cashier. And man did he HATE being a cashier. With any other job in the store you could at least TRY to get away from the people, but being a cashier, you had no choice, you were stuck with having to help them. Squall knew that Head Manager Cid had him there on purpose, for the same reason, "to build character.". Squall growled to himself.  
  
He turned his register on, and pulled the little string to turn on the light for register number 4. Luckly for him, there were still no costumers in the store, so he could just sit here and do nothing for at least an hour or so. 7:30 was usually when the first bunch of people started to come in, and then it became, in Squall's opinion, a living HELL.  
  
The main speakers began to hum with the annoying static noise and on came Head Manager Cid's gruff yet humble voice. "Attention all Wal-Mart employees. Today we start yet another week, and hopefully this one will go without incident..." He paused, and a few voices were heard in the back ground, then Cid's voice came over the intercom, and it seemed rather annoyed. "I take back that last statement. It seems that our favorite cart boy/stocker has yet again injured himself. This time by running himself over with a line of carts." Cid stiffled a laugh. "Way to go Zell you've earned Wal-Mart's Klutz of the Year Award. Come pick it up at my office whenever you like." His voice dripped with sarcasm. "Well, lets just have a good day then. And remember everyone, SMILE" The intercom clicked off.  
  
Squall groaned and leaned against the convayer belt, crossing his arms. This is going to be a VERY long day, I can just feel it... Just then Selphie's cheerful voice came over the intercom.  
  
"Attention all you wonderful people here in our local Balamb Wal-Mart! I'm Selphie, like you didn't already know." She chuckled. "And I'll be in charge of the Wal-Mart radio today!"  
  
Oh dear god no... Squall pleeded looking up at the sky.  
  
"And in reply to a few things that Head Manager Cid just said, WAY TO GO ZELL!! We'll never be able to get the Wal-Mart No Accident Award if you keep this up! But that's ok, we don't really need it, we just care about your safety. Despite what the Security Committee says!" She paused, then continued. "Well, on to the radio shall we? I dedicate the first song of the day to two very special people! One being Head Manager Cid for the wonderful speech and telling us to SMILE! And two, being Squall Leonhart..."  
  
Squall cringed, she was drawing attention to him. He didn't like that too much. Why me? What in the HELL did I do?  
  
"Who should learn to SMILE alittle every now and then! You hear me Squall?! You need to cheer up! That's all, enjoy!" Her voice dissapeared and was replaced by a happy cheerful song entitled "Smile" by some people Squall didn't know.  
  
Squall glarred in the direction that he knew Selphie was in. Why did she torment him? If she wanted him to cheer up, then why didn't she just leave him ALONE?! He closed his eyes and tried despirately to block out the horrible song.  
  
"Put a smile on your face! Make the world a better place! Put a smile on your fa~ace. Say whatcha gonna do, say whatcha gonna do..."  
  
Squall covered his ears. Dammit, I hate this song... He felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turned his head just enough to see who in the hell was bothering him. It was the Customer Service Manager, Quistis Trepe. What does she want? He growled in his head, putting his hands down he spoke monotonely. "What?"  
  
"Why are you covering your ears?" She asked plainly, ignoring the tone of Squall's voice.  
  
He glarred at her, then turned and said nothing. He heard her sigh, and in a more aggressive voice she asked again.  
  
"Why were you covering your ears?" She tapped her foot.  
  
"It's none of your--" He started but was cut off.  
  
"Buisness, yes I know." She giggled slightly. Squall found it annoying. "But it's not going to stop me from asking. Just tell me, and I'll leave you alone." No you won't. Squall argued with her in his mind. Once I answer one of your stupid questions you'll be asking me stuff ALL THE TIME. I'm not stupid lady, I know how people think... He sighed, he would just answer the damn question, at least she'll leave him alone for a while.  
  
"The song. It's annoying." Came his reply.  
  
Quistis smiled. And opened her mouth to say something then stopped. She starred at the back of Squall's head for a moment then left. About time... Squall mussed.  
  
****  
  
A few hours passed and Squall found himself swamped with costumers. One by one, he checked them out, and sent them on their way. Some even tried to talk to him, but all they got were a few uncaring one word answers. Another hour passed, and soon Squall found himself in a major predicament. Here at his line were about 10 people wanting to check out, and get the hell out of this place, and all Squall really wanted to do now... Was go pee.  
  
He had been holding it for about an hour now, and the chance to go never came. Damn it, we need more freaking cashier's in this god forsaken store... I can't do it alone! He crossed his legs awkwardly while scanning the long line of items this lady wished to purchase. Everytime he thought the lady had put all her items on the counter, she just seemed to keep producing them from nowhere. Where is she getting this stuff? Is she pulling it out of her ass or something?! Squall was getting impatient, he REALLY had to go. If he didn't hurry, he was going to piss in his pants... And the costumers in line were starting to grow impatient themselves.  
  
"Hey!" One of the people towards the end of the line yelled up to Squall. "Yeah, you Scar Face!" The man said, reffering to Squall's scar which he got from Seifer while cutting open boxes in the back room. The two faught over something really stupid and Seifer took his razor and slashed Squall right between his nose and left eye, so in turn he did the same to Seifer. So now, they both had identical scars just on either side of their faces, Squall's on the left, and Seifer's on the right.  
  
Squall looked up from checking and glarred at the man. "I'm going as fast as I can sir. You're going to have to wait." Squall stated trying not to let his anger get the best of him.  
  
His stomache made a weird noise... and his urge to pee came even stronger, he couldn't take much more of this. Waddling his way over to the other side of his checking booth he picked up the phone and calmly said "Price check." over the intercom. A minute or two passed and he picked up the phone again. "Price... CHECK!" Still no one came.  
  
Squall swollowed the lump in his throat. He could feel the heat rise in his face, his body was rejecting the fact that he had to hold it. Sweat formed on his brow, and he closed his eyes impatiently. Slowly now, not to disturb his bladder too much he picked up the phone one last time and yelled into it. "PRICE CHECK GOD DAMMIT!!" His voice echoed through the entire store, and everyone in his line looked at him with blank expressions. He looked at the costumers as a red tint formed on the bridge of his nose. He hadn't meant to let his voice get too loud. He shook it off, maybe if the costumer's are scared of him they won't talk to him.  
  
Finally Quistis came trotting up, a look of disaproval on her face. "Squall, you shouldn't get so mad... What do you need a price check for?" she asked.  
  
"I don't need a price check." He stated.  
  
"Then... why?"  
  
"Could you take over?" He asked dancing slightly.  
  
"Squall, you know it's your job..." she looked at him curiously, she wondered why he was bouncing strangely when she noticed his legs crossed, she cocked an eyebrow. "Do you... have to relieve yourself?"  
  
Squall nodded quickly, and Quistis smirked. "Okay." She stated. "Just don't pee on the floor on your way there." she giggled, getting a glare from Squall.  
  
THANK GOD!! And he ran as fast as he could to the back of the store, zooming past Seifer, Raijin and Fujin. Making them blink. And leaving a cloud of dust to linger around Rinoa, who was in the Jewlry Department.  
  
After "relieving" himself, Squall headed back to his cashier booth, but ran into some unexpected trouble. He groaned when he saw the Security Committee come strolling up to him. Great, just what I need. He glared at Seifer waiting for his expected comment.  
  
"Well mute-boy." Seifer snickered. "I'm going to have to start calling you Pee-Wee--" He stopped short of his comment, thinking of how the name "Pee- Wee" sounded so familiar. Suddenly he remembered, Pee-Wee Herman... He jerked up right, and blushed slightly. So maybe Pee-Wee was a bad name... He decided to just ignore his own comment but when he got a surprised and confused look from Squall, the blush deepened. "Ok, so maybe Pee-Wee's a bad name, but that still doesn't excuse you of almost pissin' in your pants." He smirked at Squall's scowl. "In fact, I think I can see some pee stains on them pants of yours." His smirk grew, he was very proud of himself.  
  
Squall's eyes went wide, he looked down and saw nothing that gave any clue that he pee'd in his pants. He would have to be looking pretty hard anyway to see any wet stains in my black leather pants... A light bulb lit above his head. This'll show him for making fun of me. "Uh... Seifer? These pants are black, and leather at that... You'd have to be looking very hard at my crotch to see if I had any stains..." he smirked at the Securtiy Committee.  
  
Raijin jumped back and looked at Seifer questionably. "Is there something we don't know about you? Ya know?!"  
  
Fujin snickered and said one word, like she always does. "GAY."  
  
Seifer looked at his friends with a shocked face. "WHAT?! I've known you guys my WHOLE LIFE, and you think I'm GAY?!?!"  
  
Zell came strolling up from behind with his hands in his pockets and a smug look on his face while whistling peacefully. He heard the whole conversation, but he was only half listening. He stopped abruptly, when he heard Seifer pretty much yell out that he was gay. Zell's eyes bugged out of his head and his hands flew out of his pockets and hung by his legs. "Seifer, you're GAY?!" He yelled laughing. Seifer turned to him with dread written on his face. Oh this couln't be anymore perfect. Now Zell will tell the whole store. Squall thought to himself. "Yeah, Zell, I caught him lookin' at my crotch." He added in, getting a glare from Seifer. Raijin and Fujin laughed.  
  
"WHOA! This is BIG NEWS!" Zell said with a smirk. And he took off to find someone to tell.  
  
"YOU CHICKEN-WUSS!! YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE SO I CAN SHOVE MY FOOT UP IT!!" Seifer yelled chasing after Zell.  
  
"Hey Seifer, sorry man, I'm not that way!" Came Zells last comment as they went out of ear shot.  
  
Squall grinned to himself. That was a lovely come back. Now Seifer will pay.  
  
Squall went back to his booth and saw that Quistis had already gotten all the people that were waiting in line checked out. Squall sighed in relief. He took over once again, and continued his job.  
  
****  
  
Finally Squall's lunch time came. He headed to the back and up the stairs to the employee lounge, where he saw Irvine flirting with Rinoa. Squall grunted and headed to the corner to eat his lunch.  
  
"Hey Squall? Did you hear that Seifer's gay?" Irvine asked casually.  
  
"I've heard." Came Squall's reply.  
  
"What do you mean you heard?" Rinoa asked. "I saw the whole thing, Squall. He hit on you didn't he?" Irvine chuckled.  
  
"What of it?" Squall stated taking a bite out of his sandwhich.  
  
"That would explain why he's so mean to you all the time." Irvine pondered.  
  
"Yeah," Rinoa cut in, "He's FLIRTING with you!"  
  
Squall almost choked on his sandwhich. Oh boy... what have I done?  
  
"What about Zell?" Irvine asked.  
  
"No, he just don't like Zell, but Squall here, he's got a crush on him." Rinoa giggled.  
  
Squall didn't like where this was going. He would have to make something clear right now. "Well, I'm NOT gay. So I don't have anything to worry about." And he shoved the rest of his sandwhich in his mouth and went back to work.  
  
****  
  
Back down in his booth, he was checking out an older lady who only had a few items. He gave her the change, and she started to walk out, but Squall noticed she left with out her purchased items. He stared at them for a minute and seeing that no one else was in line, he grabbed the bag and ran after the old lady.  
  
"Excuse me ma'am. You left these--" He said but was abruptly hit on the head with the old lady's purse.  
  
"You little theif!! THEIF! THEIF!" the old lady screamed as she continued to hit Squall with her purse.  
  
"I'm not a theif!" Squall yelled wincing after each blow. What has she got in that thing?! BRICKS?! "Don't you remember me? I'm the cashier! You left your stuff at my booth!"  
  
The old lady stopped, and peered at Squall. He began to get alittle nervous. "It's just like all the stores I go to. All these lying youths. Just admit that you stole my stuff. Go on now, let's hear it!" she yelled.  
  
Squall looked down at her confused. "Uh... ma'am. I'm not lying, and if I had stole your stuff, would I honestly be trying to return them?"  
  
This only angered the lady even more. "Oh so you're making fun of an old woman!?" she started to hit him again with the purse.  
  
Squall became angered by this and grabbed her purse from her. "Now ma'am--"  
  
"HELP SOMEONE HELP ME!! HE'S ROBBING ME!" the old lady yelled.  
  
Squall gave her back the purse and she began to hit him with it AGAIN. This time he grabbed her arm as gently as he could. "Please ma'am--"  
  
"RAPE! RAPE!!" she yelled again.  
  
Squall gave up, he let her go, dropped her stuff to the ground and headed back into the store. But the lady kept following him and hitting him with her purse.  
  
Feeling like he was going to get a cuncution anytime now, he began to run away from the old lady. And she tried her best to chase after him.  
  
"Get back here you young wipper-snapper!" she swung her purse again.  
  
Squall ran even harder. He just had to get away from this crazy lady! He ran to the back of the store, and ran past Irvine who was working in the Sporting Goods section showing a costumer a rifle. He saw Squall zoom by and the old lady chasing him. And he couldn't help but laugh.  
  
"Ah! Squall! You're such a ladies man!" He yelled after Squall.  
  
****  
  
Quistis noticed that Squall wasn't at his cashier booth. And looked around cocking an eyebrow. She would have to report this to Head Manager Cid. Then suddenly Squall came sprinting up one of the isles with an old lady following him, swinging her purse wildly. Quistis snickered. That was just one thing you don't see everyday.  
  
Squall saw Quistis and figured that she could help him out. So he ran behind her and hid like a child hiding behind his mother to get away from their abusive father or something.  
  
"Excuse me ma'am? Is there something I can help you with?" Quistis asked a BIG grin on her face. Squall was afraid of a little old lady. How cute.  
  
"Yes, this young man here tried to rob me then rape me." The woman replied, she didn't even seem to have broken a sweat! She didn't have to even catch her breath! She must do this alot...  
  
"E-excuse me?" Quistis said in disbelief. She looked back at Squall, who shook his head wildly in denial.  
  
"I want to talk to your manager." the woman stated.  
  
"I-I am the manager ma'am." Quistis replied.  
  
"I want to talk to someone else!" the woman demanded.  
  
"Okay..." Quistis said, walking over to the phone, leaving Squall to the mercy of the woman again. Quistis could hear the woman's purse smack Squall, she smirked. She dialed a number and on came Head Manager Cid's voice. "Hi, Head Manager Cid? Yeah, uh... we have a situation down here. Yeah. Uh-huh. Ok, gotcha. Be right up." She turned to the two and said to the woman. "If you'll just follow me ma'am we'll go up to see Head Manager Cid now."  
  
"About time!" the woman yelled. And she began to follow Quistis.  
  
Whew. Man I thought I was going to be beaten to death! Suddenly the woman stopped and walked back to Squall, grabbing his ear and dragging him along.  
  
"You're comming with me sonny." she stated. Squall whinced and followed as best he could.  
  
****  
  
In Head Manager Cid's office, Quistis, Squall and the woman sat in chairs, the woman still beating Squall with her purse. But it didn't matter now, Squall was numb, he couldn't feel it anymore. Cid couldn't help but snicker.  
  
"Now, ma'am, what could I help you with?" Cid asked.  
  
The woman stopped her Squall beating for a moment, and tried to put on a sad puppy dog face. Which didn't work, sense she's old and wrinklely, so her puppy face turned out to be rather scary. Squall silently sighed with relief and looked at Cid with an annoyed and confused face. This made Cid snicker even more.  
  
"This young man tried to steal my belongings and tried to rape me." She stated.  
  
Cid coughed. And looked at Squall who shook his head again, the same way he did with Quistis. "Ok... Squall, can I have your side please?"  
  
Squall swallowed. If I tell the truth, the lady will hit me again. But if I tell a lie, Head Manager Cid will fire me... "Um... well, she left her items at my booth, so I went to return them to her and she accused me of stealing them. Then she began to beat me--" he was interupted by a swing of the lady's purse, just bearly missing his nose. "Just like that sir, only she hit me... repeatedly. Then I took her purse from her to get her to stop hitting me... and she accused me of stealing her purse. So... I gave it back, and she--" again the lady swung her purse at him and this time it hit him square in the face. His eyes crossed stupidly, and he put his face in his hands. Spreading his fingers to look at the woman awaiting the next attack. This isn't going too well... And all Head Manager Cid and Quistis can do is laugh... Why me? He sighed, he would have to go faster to get the story over with and get the hell away from this lady. "Shehitmeagain,soIgrabbedherarm. Theshescreamedrape. SoIlethergoandranaway,butshefollowedmeandchasedmearoundthestorehittingmewith her--"Again, the woman hit him. "...GOD DAMNED PURSE!" He yelled at her, this just made her hit him again. He sighed and looked at Head Manager Cid for help. But found Cid laughing loudly. Squall snorted.  
  
"I'm sorry my boy." he said inbetween laughs. "Ok, I'll take care of it from here, you may go."  
  
Really? I can go? He felt like jumping for joy, and maybe even clicking his heals. But for reputation's sake and his own dignity, he refrained himself and just exited the room, dodging one last swing from the old lady, and tried not to make it look like he rushed out, even though he did.  
  
****  
  
When 6 o'clock came again that day, only this time in the evening, Squall headed back to the back room and grabbed his punch card once again, and ran it through the machine, it beeped and he left the back room. He headed straight for his car and tossed his blue vest in the back and grabbing his leather jacket. He drove home to his spacy apartment. And plopped down on his bed, not even bothering to change clothes. Damn this was one HELL of a day. I just hope I don't end up dreaming about Seifer hitting on me and that old lady beating me with her purse, while Zell runs around in the background screaming "Seifer's GAY!", and Rinoa laughing at me saying that Seifer's flirting with me, and Irvine telling me what a ladie's... and guy's man I am, for that matter... Selphie can be playing that god awful song too, and hell why not even put Quistis in all of this ASKING HER GOD DAMN QUESTIONS! While I'm pissing in my pants... Squall sighed, and rolled over on his bed. Better get my sleep tomorrow is another day...  
  
The End  
  
Author's Notes: Well? Did ya like it? Hope so, and don't forget to review! JA! 


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Notes: Hey all! After reading some of your reviews several times over the past year or so, I decided that maybe I should be nice and write another chapter to my story. Originally I just wanted to keep it a one-chapter story, for the fear that if I wrote another one… it wouldn't be as good as the first. I have a habit of doing that, I get excited about a chapter, I write it, then suddenly I lose the knack and the next one doesn't turn out so good… But I tried again, and if this one isn't as good as the first, don't remember this story for this chapter! Remember it for the first! And don't make me cry in the reviews… Hope you enjoy!

Welcome to your local Balamb Super Center! Where the associates are unbelievably busy, and the customers are even ruder. Have a nice day!

It's been about a year since Squall's last recorded rendezvous with the local Balamb Wal-Mart. Many things have changed over the past year, for better or for worse. Many of our favorite characters have moved to different positions; Zell became a member of the Inventory Control Team, Rinoa became Department Manager of Jewelry, Seifer, Raijin and Fujin became Tire and Lube Express Technicians, and Selphie became a sales associate in Pets. While some characters didn't change; Quistis remained a Customer Service Manager, and Irvine remained working in Sporting Goods.

Squall, however, was thrown hap hazardously into the Snack Bar, which he was thankful for at first, not being on the register improved his mood a great deal, but now he wasn't so sure.

Balamb Wal-Mart had upgraded to a Super Center no more than three months ago, but still the associates scrambled every which way, not exactly knowing what to do, or where everything was. But for the enormous size and lack of help, the Balamb associates were doing quite well.

Squall yawned as he walked through the automatic doors of the Balamb Wal-Mart, he entered through the grocery side doors, as he did every morning, passing his small corner of occupation; the Snack Bar.

A pleasantly plump woman with dirty blonde hair that was slightly graying, glasses, and very happy brown eyes smiled enthusiastically at him, waving so violently it made her front shake from side to side.

Wendy.

Squall gave her an unaccustomed half smile. He liked Wendy, as amazingly cheerful as she was, which totally contradicted his usual likeness of people. Which he really didn't like anyone. Not to say that he was a sour person, and that he's not capable of liking anyone, that wasn't true. He liked Rinoa for the longest time, and he held a certain strange respect for Head Manager Cid. But for the most part, everyone just got on his nerves.

He continued on past the smiling Wendy, and headed for the back. That in it's self took him about 5 minutes due to the sheer size of the store, despite his usual quick pace. He silently cursed the inefficiency of the store, two time clocks located in the back, but only about 100 feet from each other. He found this to be slightly ridiculous, in his personal opinion; there should be one in the front as well.

Sighing to himself, he pulled out his name badge, appropriately labeled "Squall" and slid it through the slot, awaiting his name to appear and his punch approved. Once getting confirmation that he was officially on the clock, he promptly turned on his heel and headed straight back to the front.

He entered the Snack Bar, frowning now as he saw the cotton candy display was running low. This of course meant he had to fill it. Which by no means has he ever enjoyed making cotton candy. EVER. He could never quite get the machine to work properly, for some strange reason the cotton candy never stayed in the giant metal bowl like it was supposed to. No, instead it went everywhere else; the pizza oven, the cookie oven, the floor, the ceiling, the carpet by the entrance to the store, and especially him. All of his white shirts were now permanently stained with the assorted colors of the cotton candy, and for the life of him could he manage to keep it out of his hair. No matter how carefully he stuffed his wild mess of brown hair into his hair net, there was always some defiant tendril that escaped and would therefore get completely coated with the fluffy treat. He hated cotton candy, hated it with a passion.

"Good morning Squall!" Wendy cheered, "It's a great day to make cotton candy!"

Squall groaned openly as he walked past, heading for the door to enter the kitchen area.

Upon habit and obvious requirement he grabbed one of the white hairnets that oddly resembled fabric softener, and shoved it on his head. No longer did he wear the blue vest that he wore before, instead he grabbed a blue apron from the stack, removed his black jacket, and put the apron on. He thought he looked ridiculous, and Seifer made it a point to make fun of him everyday, but there was no point in complaining about it. Plus Seifer is dumb.

"I know you hate making cotton candy," Wendy continued, walking up to him with apology written all over her face, "But it needs to be done, and neither Katie nor Mandy work today."

"Then it looks like I don't have much of a choice." He said as pleasantly as he could muster up, silently wishing that Co-Manager NORG would be hit by lighting for his love of the demonic sugary fluff.

Wendy patted him on the back and handed him a pair of clear gloves and a half-gallon carton of Flossugar to start with. He sighed again and headed for the cotton candy machine.

Everything started out ok, for once in this things sorry existence did it decide to work right for Squall. He was almost pleased with himself as he pulled cotton candy by big handfuls, and stuffing it into the plastic containers. He had gotten about twelve of them done when disaster struck. He had just pulled out another big handful, when suddenly the candy wouldn't stick to the sides of the bowl. One terrifyingly pink piece went flying up into the air, and Squall watched it with the utmost hatred. Watched it as it swirled in the air, caught by an unseen breeze and drifted about. He didn't want to take his eyes off of it; he watched it like hawk, ready to grab it if it came near him. Down and down it fell, closer and closer to him, he just had to figure out when to strike…

"AHH! For the love of SHIVA and all the GF's in the WORLD!" Squall bellowed out, in sheer agony. Wendy, hearing his out right curses came dashing over from washing dishes to see what was the matter.

She too yelled out, but in a panicked voice rather than hurt or angry. "What? What happened!"

"IFRIT, DIABLOS, CERBERUS, DOOOOOM TRAAAAAAIN!"

"WHAT! WHAAAAT!"

Squall turned around to face her holding his right eye, occasionally rubbing it. "It BURNS!"

Wendy looked at him seriously; at least until she figured out what had happened to him. Then of course, she burst out into a violent fit of laughter. "Did you get cotton candy in your eye?" she finally managed to get out after some gasps for air.

Squall frowned. Like it was REALLY that hard to believe. He continued to rub his eye, wincing at the pain.

Wendy's laughter finally died down, and she smiled at him, grabbing him by the arm, and shutting the cotton candy machine off in one swift movement. "Let's go take care of that you silly boy." And she led him over to the sink, where she instructed him to lean over so she could spray his eye out.

Squall poked at his blood shot and watering eye watching it closely in the mirror in the men's bathroom. He grunted, of all the dumbest things in the world he could have possibly done… Cotton candy in his eye, he just KNEW the stuff was the spawn of Satan, he just KNEW it.

The door to the men's bathroom opened and shut, and Squall watched Irvine's reflection as he entered. Irvine nodded to him casually, knowing better than to try to make courteous conversation with the lone wolf. That is, until he saw Squall's eye. "Whoa, Squall, what happened to your eye?" He asked, walking up to the sink next to Squall's.

"Nothing." Was Squall's monotonous reply.

"Looks like a little more than nothing to me." Irvine stated.

Squall glared at him. "I said it's nothing."

Irvine put his hands up in defense. "Okay, okay. It's nothing." And he went off to do his "business".

Sighing for the third time today, Squall left the restroom. Wendy had told him to go and get some frozen pretzels from the ice cream freezer on his way back from lunch, so Squall headed to the back room, on the grocery side, to get the pretzels. Upon seeing Zell's happy face, Squall wished he had chosen a different route.

"Squall! My man! Just in time to see my latest adventure ride! You can try it if you want to, but I wouldn't recommend it!" He started hopping from side to side, thrusting his fists out in a "manly" gesture.

"I have things to do." Squall stated and started to walk away.

"Okay, but you're gonna miss it, it's AWESOME!"

Squall had a hard time believing that anything Zell made could be considered "awesome", but Squall really didn't care. The sooner he got away from this accident-prone individual the closer he would be to safety. He entered the freezer and didn't even flinch at the below zero degree air, and quickly retrieved the box of frozen pretzels. He exited and started to head back toward the Snack Bar, when a load yell and a crashing sound caught his attention. He almost didn't want to find out, but he turned around anyway and headed for the receiving dock.

That's where he found the most interesting thing he's seen in a very long time. Stretching across the whole receiving area was the metal-wheeled line, but that wasn't anything new, that happened all the time. No, the interesting thing was that it was jacked up to a considerably high altitude by a walker-stacker to where it made a slide like shape. Squall cocked his eyebrow. He turned to find one of the shelves in the steal shrink rapped from one side to the other, or at least that's what he assumed it had been, the shrink rap was ripped now and fluttering slightly in the wind. Past that he found Zell, curled up in a little ball, covered in shrink rap and laundry detergent.

From what Squall could tell, Zell's "adventure ride" had been this. Zell must have climbed a ladder up to the top and slid down it, and must have been hoping the shrink rap in the steal would stop him. Obviously he didn't put enough there, because he flew through and hit the chemicals steal on the other side. Squall didn't know if he should be worried for Zell, laugh at Zell or just simply walk away. Watt and Zone were standing there obviously worried for Zell, Seifer, Raijin and Fujin were laughing, so Squall just walked away.

By the time he made it back to the Snack Bar, he heard Watt's unsure voice come over the intercom. "Code White to receiving… sir. Code White to receiving, sir."

It was a good hour until Squall had gotten news of Zell's condition. It was when he needed quarters and Quistis came over to deliver the silver coins.

"Did you hear what happened to Zell?" Quistis asked casually. Normally Squall would have just ignored her and taken the quarters. However, he wasn't in that crabby of a mood, so he replied.

"I was there when he did it."

"Really? Zell is such an idiot. But thankfully he wasn't hurt. A few bruises, and bumps, he's really wishing he hadn't done it, but he's fine. What really surprised me was that Head Manager Cid didn't punish him! I can see maybe if that was an accident, which it obviously wasn't, but it was dangerous and deliberate! I don't understand Cid."

Squall smiled to himself, in his mind of course. Head Manager Cid wouldn't get Zell into trouble, Cid really liked Zell, and in Squall's opinion Cid enjoyed Zell's stupidity. It gave Cid a sort of entertainment.

"It's none of my business." Squall finally states taking the roll of coins and ignoring any further comments from the blonde CSM. She rolled her eyes and left the Snack Bar.

Just then a customer came to his register. So far through out the day he had been lucky to not have to actually serve any of the customers. Wendy had taken care of that. But then again, which was worse; serving customers, or getting cotton candy in his eye. He would have to ponder on that one.

He signed on to the register and awaited the small awkward girl to make her order.

"I think I want a Nacho Chili Pie, but could you put the chili on the side please?"

Nodding Squall rung up the item of her choice, took her money and ran off to make her order.

Six chips placed around a Styrofoam bowl, crush the rest, one scoop of chili—on the side of course—and one scoop of cheese. Done.

He handed her the pie casually, after putting the two bowls on a tray.

"Thank you." And she walked off.

So far so good. A day never went by that some customer didn't yell at him for something. Wendy had always found it somewhat humorous to stand and watch him get yelled at for a while before jumping in to announce that she was the department manager, and then have them yell at her for a while.

One weekend a few weeks back was horrifying. Not an HOUR went past that someone didn't yell at him. But, he supposed, was all right. He wasn't the one at fault in all reality. They were just out of pretzels, however it was a little un-nerving to be cussed out by a Moomba in they're squeaky language.

Ten minutes went by when another girl came up, displeasure written all over her face, holding the Nacho Chili Pie with the chili on the side. Squall was somewhat confused. He remembered selling the pie to a small girl, this one was much bigger and seemed to have an aura of not-so-righteous-anger-look about her not very pretty face.

"I want another one." She stated simply, tossing the pie on the counter.

"What's wrong with it?" Squall asked, he found that people responded better to this question than "So?"

"My chips are crushed." She stated arching her back and bobbing her head.

Again, Squall was confused. The chips were supposed to be crushed. That was a Nacho Chili Pie. He decided to state so. "You, or your friend rather, ordered a Nacho Chili Pie. That's what you got."

"Yeah, but I didn't want my chips crushed. What the hell you guys crush the chips for anyway?"

Squall shrugged. "Some people like it that way."

The woman rolled her eyes. "Yeah well some people are dumb, and I guess you guys here at Wal-Mart are too."

Squall was just a tad offended by that, he just worked here, he wasn't "one of the Wal-Mart guys" he wasn't an executive or anything, he was a peon. Therefore there was really no use in yelling at him, like he could do anything about it.

"I'm sorry for your displeasure with the company, but there is no need to call anyone names." Squall had immediately wished that he hadn't said that as the woman picked up the pie and chucked it at Squall. It hit him on the chest and crashed to the floor. He looked down at the cheese smeared on his apron. Good thing he was wearing one.

"I want another one!" The woman yelled.

Squall untied the back of his apron and began to slip it off over his head. "Ma'am, I'm not allowed to give you another one, unless something is wrong, like a fly is in it, or it wasn't cooked all the way."

"Well, now there is something wrong with it, it's all over you, how am I supposed to eat it now?" The woman stated smugly.

He looked at her for a moment then shrugged. "I don't think that random displays of anger management problems count. What you do with your order after transaction and preparation is up to you. I'm not liable for your personal decisions. It's like you coming up to me demanding another one when you've already eaten it." He paused to take in her look of pure rage. "You decide what to do with it, and just because you decided to hurl your food at me doesn't make me responsible. It was your choice, your food."

This statement of course just made her seething mad and she stomped off, probably to find a manager, but he didn't really care.

Well so much for "so far so good"…

No more than an hour later, Selphie came running up, desperation written all over her small, usually pleasant face. For once Squall was actually alarmed. She looked as if someone had died.

"Squall!" She wailed, and ran up to the counter.

"What's wrong?" He asked, looking her over for injuries.

"It's Irvine! He's dead!" She flung herself onto the counter, so upset that she kept her hands cupped together, he guessed as a type of prayer.

"What!" Squall was really alarmed. If someone could manage to kill the dumb cowboy then who's to stop them from killing more people?

She looked up at him pleadingly. "You have a few life spells, don't you?"

Squall gave her a sympathetic look. "Selphie," he stated softly, "You know I can't bring someone back from the dead. Life spells only bring people back from unconsciousness."

"But Irvine is so small! It would surely work on him!"

Irvine? Small? Since when? Irvine is six inches taller than Squall. By no means was he small…

Squall suddenly got a stern look on his face. "Selphie…"

She put her head down and opened her cupped hands, there sat a dead fish, brown and orange in spots and had surprisingly green eyes. No wonder she named this one Irvine. "Please?" She begged.

Squall shook his head. "I'm not wasting a life spell on a fish. Named Irvine or not."

Her eyes began to well up, so Squall tried to keep her occupied with conversation. "What happened to him?"

Suddenly, she got very shy, her cheeks flushed and she pulled this fish up to her face lovingly. "I went to break with the real Irvine, and he said something that made me angry… So when I got back to work, I accidentally took out my anger on little Irvine."

Selphie is one scary woman when she's pissed. So this act of murderous rage didn't surprise Squall one bit.

"The only thing you can do is learn from this incident, Selphie. And try not to kill the REAL Irvine." He stated simply.

She nodded, sniffed, and said. "Oh boy, little Rinoa's gonna have a fit. She really liked little Irvine."

Squall shuddered.

Squall looked down at his watch. It was almost 5 p.m. almost time for him to go home. Wendy had left around 3 p.m. and Karen couldn't come in until 5 p.m. So as soon as she got here, he was gone, you really can only stand this place for 9 hours a day. Management—who stay for up to 14 hours at a time—were nuts, but then again they get paid a whole lot more, so in the end it was all good.

He looked up, and there was Karen. Hmm, she was a little bit early. Like it mattered, so she's here early, that means he can leave early.

Karen was a large woman, much like Wendy, only much taller and had a look about her that made you afraid of her if you ever got on her bad side. Luckily for Squall he never got on her bad side, it was usually the other way around. Karen liked to hit on Squall, and that bugged the hell out of him.

"Hey hot stuff." Karen greeted. Squall winced. "Has it been busy?" She walked past the counter and headed for the kitchen door. Squall went to meet her.

"Not really, but people are being pissy as usual." Squall stated. Karen laughed. He pulled off his hair net, untied his apron, and felt his butt being pinched. His face flared red, and he spun around.

Karen winked at him, tossed him his coat and all but threw him out of the kitchen door, slamming it in his face before he could even so much as get a word in edgewise. He glared at the older woman through the little rectangle window, but she paid him no mind.

That was the first time she had actually made physical contact with him. It made his skin crawl. But this whole day had been extremely weird, so why not have a freaky older woman grab your butt? It was better than an old creepy man. And with that thought, he headed to the back to clock out.

As he headed out the automatic doors towards his car, he heard a scream. More out of curiosity than alarm, he looked about the parking lot to find the source.

"Fujin! That's just funny, ya know!" Raijin. Squall looked for the large black man. He found him, as he turned the corner of the store, running like a bat out of hell, panic on his face. This of course intrigued Squall, so he continued to watch the TLE technician as he ran towards him. Hot on his tail was Fujin, in the drivers seat of the forklift, which had a pallet of car batteries on it, and she had a wicked grin on her face.

"ROAD-KILL." He could hear her say.

"Road-kill, ya know!" Came Raijin's squeak of horror.

Seifer soon rounded the corner, laughing almost too hard to run. "Get'em Fuj! Take him out!"

Raijin finally passed Squall, and he watched him and Fujin round the other corner of the store, towards the back parking lot. He shook his head, and headed for his car.

Yes, and extremely weird day indeed.

Author's Notes: Welp that's it. XD I hope this one turned out ok, and I tried to make a better ending than the one I had for the first chapter. Sorry it took me so long, I've been a little off with writing recently. (Like 2 years rofl.) I hope you enjoyed them, it's been a pleasure writing them. v


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